


Roller Skate Laces

by dancefantasy



Category: Gorillaz, Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Beginnings, Crack Relationships, First Meetings, Fluff, Innocent middle aged men, M/M, Mom jeans, Rollerblades & Rollerskates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29247510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancefantasy/pseuds/dancefantasy
Summary: When a helpful stranger helps Dr. Doofenshmirtz tie his roller skate laces, he can't help but fall in love.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz/Stuart "2D" Pot
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Roller Skate Laces

**Author's Note:**

  * For [softchickennolettuce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/softchickennolettuce/gifts).



> This was written for softchickennolettuce after she began pointing out all the similarities between 2-D and Doof, and that naturally became an idea to ship them because we're insane like that.

"Thanks for taking me out tonight. You're the bomb, Dad," Vanessa Doofenshmirtz told her father as they got their rented roller skates from the roller rink's front desk. She wasn't always the biggest fan of Dr. Doofenshmirtz, but it was clear that he just wanted to have some casual bonding time that night with no evil schemes involved. He was trying to be a good dad, and the roller rink was a super fun place, so Vanessa happily came along with him.

Doofenshmirtz was similarly excited, but was less familiar with the place than she was. "I thought it sounded like a fun time! But I'll be honest, I'm not too familiar with roller skating..." The scientist looked at the wheeled shoes in his hand warily, worried he might slip and die once he put them on. 

"There's nothing to it!" Vanessa reassured him dismissively, eagerly putting her own pair on and getting ready to roll.

"Hey, Vanessa!" a voice suddenly shouted in the distance.

She quickly turned around at the sound of her name, her face lighting up with joy as she recognized one of her goth friends. She gave them a wave before turning back to Doofenshmirtz. "Dad, you won't feel like I'm ditching you if I go say hi to my friend for a minute, do you?"

"Not at all!" he replied. "I brought you here to have fun; don't worry about lil' old me."

Vanessa gave him a grateful side-hug and then dashed off on her skates to hang out with her pal for a little while. Doofenshmirtz smiled as he watched her go, glad to see his daughter happy. But her absence left him with a problem. He wasn't an experienced roller skater and wasn't sure where to begin. He wasn't even sure he knew how to tie the laces. And so, he sat on the bench and stared at the untied roller skates on his feet helplessly until a blue platypus in a hat suddenly appeared before him.

"Perry the Platypus?!" Doof exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here? I promise I wasn't planning anything evil!"

Whether that was true or not, Perry was still obligated to keep an eye on the villain. And out of the kindness of his platypus heart (and annoyance that a middle-aged man couldn't tie his own shoelaces), he had decided to come out from his cover to tie them for Doofenshmirtz before disappearing into the crowd once more.

Doof blinked in shock. "Well, maybe he's not so bad after all," he wondered about his nemesis. Then he carefully shuffled over to the wooden floor to get skating for real, knowing that waiting for Vanessa's help could get boring fast. The more experienced skaters on the floor were intimidating, but there was a railing for the newbies like him to hold onto, and he did his best to slowly roll along.

Just before he had made it a complete lap around the room, Doof felt his roller skate catch on something. Before he could grip the rail even more tightly, he went flying to the floor in a heap of disgrace.

After a bit of anguished groaning from having bruised his skinny elbows and his ego, he rolled back off the rink to hide his embarrassment and avoid being run over by overzealous children. He sat back down in a corner of the building, noticing that his laces had become undone -- the source of his fall. Doofenshmirtz dearly hoped that it had been an accident, and not planned by Perry when he had helped tie them.

He spent a while staring at the roller skates mournfully and hoping his daughter would come find him soon, until a stranger approached him and asked, "Are you the bloke who just fell on his face back there?"

Doof glanced up at the tall, lanky man with shame. "Depends on why you're asking."

"I thought I could help a fellow out and show you the ropes so it won't happen again. Maybe we can start by tying those laces of yours? Tripping hazards sure don't help anybody's odds out there."

Doof wasn't used to people offering to help him, so he looked at the man carefully to make sure he wasn't about to be bamboozled. Crazy blue hair, blank eyes, a few missing teeth... A rather odd character indeed. But Doofenshmirtz had seen weirder. He could probably trust this guy.

"Well, if you're offering," he reluctantly accepted.

The other man smiled widely at the opportunity to help. "It's a pleasure!" He quickly got to work on re-tying Doof's roller skate laces with his spindly fingers. While he did so, he introduced himself in his British accent. "You can call me 2-D, by the way."

"I'm Heinz," Doofenshmirtz responded. "Thanks for helping me. I'm a bit of a helpless klutz, I'll admit. I was hoping my daughter would help me out, but she's off with her friends," he explained, feeling self-conscious about it all.

"It's no problem, mate! I love to share the joy of roller skating. What say you we get back out there and strut our stuff?" 2-D held out a hand to help Doof get steadily back on his feet, and they made their way back to the rink together.

Doof's bad posture made this 2-D fellow seem quite tall in comparison, he noticed. He was like a blue tree helping shade him from any judging eyes who had seen his chaotic fall, a gentle giant helping teach him the basics of roller skating all while offering some pleasant conversation.

"You seem like a curious fellow, Mr. Heinz. What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a scientist. And an inventor of sorts," Doofenshmirtz answered honestly, being careful not to mention that his inventions were often tools of evildoing.

2-D seemed massively impressed. "Aye, that's brilliant! I'm just a humble musician, myself. Not quite saving the world the way lads like you do."

Doofenshmirtz awkwardly laughed. "Yeah... Something like that-- Whoa, how did you do that?" he exclaimed as 2-D did some fancy footwork. "That was so elegant and smooth, like a gazelle tap dancing on top of a gazing ball!"

2-D grinned his crooked grin and shrugged. "Just takes a lil' practice. Before you know it, you'll be a skating superstar yourself!"

This man was being so kind to Doof. Why did it almost make his heart flutter? He must have just been getting too sappy as he got older. "You really think so?" he asked in surprise.

"Of course!" 2-D confirmed. "You've got the right body type for the sport and everything!"

"I never thought of myself as an athlete!"

"Long legs are so perfect for roller skating! And you've got the style even! Your haircut, your turtleneck... I even have to say I like the bags under your eyes. Makes me feel more normal," 2-D laughed, poking at his own dark circles and sticking out his tongue impishly.

This man was perfect, Doofenshmirtz decided right then and there. Not only was he kind enough to tie his shoelaces and help teach him how to skate better, but he was also adorable and boosting Doof's self-esteem with every new sentence he said in his charming accent. And Heinz Doofenshmirtz was not the kind of man who experienced perfection in his life very often. And that made perfection all the more attractive. _"Oh no,"_ he thought to himself. _"I'm already falling in love with this blue tree."_

He couldn't let perfection slip through his hands without even trying to grab it. He quickly sputtered, "Did I mention I'm divorced? I mean, I'm single. Uh, that is, my little girl doesn't have a mother figure in her life all the time anymore."

"Oh... I'm sorry to hear that."

"Sorry to dump that all on you out of the blue, I just noticed you were wearing, erm, _mom_ jeans. Sorry if you don't like them being called mom jeans! I would hate to offend such a wonderful roller-skating guide such as yourself," Doofenshmirtz awkwardly tried to find an excuse for his words, only to feel like he had made it worse.

2-D laughed. "I don't mind at all! Mom jeans are a bit rocker, don't you think?" He struck some sort of rock star pose while still managing to skillfully skate backwards to look at Doof as they conversed.

"Very rocker," Doof sighed dreamily before nearly tripping again.

2-D caught him this time, moving to keep an arm around the other man's shoulder to hold him steady as they continued around the busy rink. "Whoa there! Gotta make sure you don't break that handsome face of yours, Heinz!"

"Y-you think I'm handsome?"

"Of course! You're splendid all-around. I'd love to get to know you better. How about we step off the rink for a minute so I can give you my number and we can meet up again sometime? For skating lessons or whatever."

Flabbergasted that things were suddenly going so well in his life, Doofenshmirtz quickly and gratefully accepted that offer. After 2-D jotted down his number for the scientist, he glanced at his watch and frowned in disappointment. 

"Unfortunately, I do have to dash at the moment," he apologized. "I've got band practice tonight, you see. But I do hope you'll call me?"

"I'll try," Doof promised nervously. 

2-D gave him a pat on the back. "Brilliant. I look forward to it. And I hope your shoelaces stay tied!"

Doofenshmirtz thanked him, and then the two men gave each other a somewhat shy wave of farewell.

"I'm back," Doof then heard Vanessa speak as she rejoined his side. "Who was that?" she asked as 2-D's blue hair disappeared into the crowd.

 _"My knight in faded mom jeans,"_ Doof thought, but instead told his daughter that he was just a new acquaintance, as that was far less awkward. "You know what, Vanessa? I think we'll be coming here more often."

"Awesome!" Vanessa approved. "You know what? Sometimes I think you become a cooler dad each year."

"You really are the sweetest daughter!" Doof happily exclaimed, giving her a warm hug. "And, ah, I have one quick thing to ask before I forget... How do you get the courage to call a boy?"


End file.
